Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
