He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Of course I have a pirate flag
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
