Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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