What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
So squirting runs in the family.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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