She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Randomize
