Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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