My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
it's great music for shaving your balls
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
