Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
