did you get engaged???
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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