We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You're a waste of cheezeits
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
