She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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