Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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