Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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