If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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