Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Do vagina's smell?
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
