let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
