Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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