Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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