HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
