its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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