Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
