I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
