walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
