I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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