I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize
