tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I smell like Dick and happiness
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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