all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
