I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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