I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
