I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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