Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I am puke
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Randomize
