i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
