How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
