Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
