i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
