Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Randomize
