He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
