woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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