She is in my trunk
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize
