Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
