Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
