At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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