no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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