My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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