You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
