I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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