im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
