im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
