i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
