Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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