halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
