Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
