Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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