it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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