Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
